A bit of Airline Lingo Humor

I have said many times that I would love it if I never had to deal with airlines again. It would make my life much easier.

I have taken a couple of definitions from Marc Mancini's Airline Dictionary for your amusement. This article was published in the 7/30/07 edition of Travel Weekly Magazine.

Again, this is all in jest, but we can all use a good chuckle now and then.

1. Open Jaw- what clients do when they hear what their full fare coach tickets will cost.

2. Air fare (the mathematics of)- numbers that change so fast that they can't be measured.

3. Direct flight- either a connecting flight in disquise or what normal folk think is a non stop.

4. In snack flight- a bag of something sealed so well that you need a chain saw to open it.

5. Baggage carousel- otherwise known as the Bermuda triangle.

6. Code share- a trick where several different airlines have a plane at the same gate at the same time.

7. 737- The airline industry's response to the overwhelming desire for more passengers to sit in the middle seat.

8. Commuter jet- this is a 737 before it grows up.

9. Minimum connecting time- the time it takes for an Olympic class sprinter to get from one gate to another at top speed.

10. On time- an obscure term which has an unknown definition.

Hope these brought a smile to your face.